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[14 Nov 2008|03:14am] |
- each of you can ask me up to ten questions, so make them good.
- i'm not placing a content filter on said questions, so ask whatever you want.
- i will answer each and every question honestly and to the best of my ability.
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[11 Nov 2008|06:44pm] |
There were times, when I was a kid, when I'd sit on the ground on a sunny day and look up to the sun and want nothing at all but that moment. It was a feeling of goodness that we chase all our lives. Life is one big chase for something underneath everything that we do - it's the bass line. Those times, sitting there and face turned up to the sky, I didn't care about yesterday or tomorrow. Now, I can't think without traces of tomorrow and yesterday. It all bleeds and blends and the moment of now is lost within it all. And it leaves me unsettled and yearning for anything other than this stretch of everything and nothing. Something better. It's in abundance for a reason, so I suppose we have to appreciate it.
It's not easy do so when I feel incredibly discontent and know that nothing can satisfy the feeling. I fill it with something until next time because it's all that I can do. I understand why people walk into the ocean and never return. It's an insatiable need that can never be found. And I don't know what it is. I feel closest to attaining it when I make music. They may not be related, but it feels as if music and that need are close. I think what it is, is something so wonderful that it makes all you ever settled for simple stepping stones. That makes even the things you wouldn't trade for anything, simple stepping stones. For that reason, I despise and am afraid of this feeling. It seems to make everything that matters not matter at all.
I think it's buried underneath all that's unnecessary and sometimes you can make out the whisper. Just a reminder for you to not forget that there's more. I never forget. Remembering is all there is.
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